disconnected & black (verse )


With sorrow im my heart i close my eyes.
In fear i continue to live and with pain  i survive.
Freedom i hope, but relief i seek
I try to know what can i pay as the price.
I cant figure out what more i can sacrifice ...

Always blaming myself for what i did wrong
And for every right i didn't do
Never will  i be satisfied with how things go through.
All the time the mistakes are mine
Like only because of my actions the course of events was defined..
Only my mistakes made my black fate decided.

I can never feel love.inside me lies only hate.
Outside i may appear happy but the truth, inside my soul quietly fade.
Tons of troubles ,with me Forever will i take.
I dont know how much more i can stand before i break....

I want to just drop on my kneels and cry
Cuz i heard  crying relieves the heart.
But I am sure  it will not  take my troubles apart.
And i cant let pople se me with my broken heart
So even that i dont dare to try.

Iam just lost,no hope no way.
I just want with my soul to pay.
God ,as far in heaven as near in a pray.
Please god help me find a way.
Because never can i this way stay.
And if there is no other way.
Relieve me and take my soul away...

However
Inspite of all that black
I am sure nothing is that bad.
Inspite all my sadness ,i also feel glad

I am glad for all the good things i got to enjoy
Friends whom faces i only need to take alook at and i feel joy
Having the chance around them to forget all my  troubles and act purely as a boy
That is why i still feel it is not that bad after All
GOD  i have such a troubled Soul :( :)
:D

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