I decide to stop but then I relapse

Sometimes you think it is easier if you just stopped , you may think it is easy if you just forget and relived your mind , but you go back , you relapse and you return same as before , if wrong you do , maybe your conscience will stop you at the right time , but the problem is that you do nothing wrong , you do what has always made you happy . and you will continue doing it as long as possible….

I am afraid , things will get worse , people may change , the Moustafa Mahmoud curse  will take effect again ,if it hasn’t taken effect yet , and I don’t want any thing to make me sad , I promised myself and the world that I will not , What Can I Do .

The story is simple , but my mind is too complicated , I don’t understand what my mind is doing , mm oh god please relieve me and make things clear …..

Wait wait , lol I remembered , I don’t need to worry , I still got time , all what I need to do is to stop worrying and thinking about what is useless to think about , I also need to to have more trust , in myself but most important in others and beyond all I have to have faith , ok No Fear , fear brings trouble , fear blinds me , & fear makes me do exactly what what I am afraid I might mistakenly do . well All I need to do now , is continue on my track , to keep bringing down challenges one by one , I need to continue living my crazy life , and that is what I am going to do …

sorry for bothering you … YD