Happy 2015

     Happy new year 2015! This is how I started my new year, with a wish that it becomes a happy year, but I really wonder if  it will really be a happy year for me. I have a very long journey ahead of me, three years of military service, starting a career and maybe even starting a family, will I be able to make this journey ? I really wonder how will this journey leave me, or if it will leave me at all, as it may seems this might be it, the long journey that will take me straight to my grave, it will be the journey that will tie me to my Noria to secure a place for me and my successors in this world.

Thank you 2014 for what you have done to me,
your 356 day trip broke and left me with a lot of debris,
A Liar .. Heart breaker .. Deceiver ..  Cruel,
Step by step you turned me into what all people of the world should be,
My once pure blood and bones became  the tools for my trip into the black sea,
I go into the darkness with no fear of hurt or the scream of a waiting banshee.

I was once a pure heart seeking love and freedom,
My heart was tender I am now called a daemon,
I have done the worst of things I never imagined myself doing,
Hurt, Lies, Pain has been brought by me in my turning season,
I began turning into a monster and I am not wondering the reason.

2014 has been for me a very big year of success.
Graduation, being loved, Aikido achievements, it was really a bless. 
I was then hit by a very dark storm of cruelty that should have broke me,
Instead of falling and dying I decided that all I hold dear, I shall dispossess,
From all my humanity and feelings I did undress.
Instead of doing all the sufferings, I became the one to oppress.

If you ask me I don't really feel that bad,
I became a person that a year a go I hated which should be sad.
I feel stronger, more powerful that should make me glad,
but I do miss the old me , I miss being pure and without sins,
I wish this year will have nothing more bad for my character to add.

We are all captives of our own imagination living in prisons of own creation. We can run from our fears but surely we can’t hide. The longer we run the more we will find ourselves looking over our shoulders in fear. Stop running. Take matters back into your own hands, that is your play your only play. & just remember if facing your fears will kill u at least die like a man taking it in the face...

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